When family gatherings leave you feeling unseen

Hi beautiful,

The holidays can be a hard time for many people — and especially for Deaf folks who go home to families where no one signs.

So often, the Deaf person is left out of conversations: stories from the past, updates about relatives, inside jokes, spontaneous laughter. Important moments pass by without access, without inclusion, without connection.

As a CODA, the holidays were stressful for me in a different way. At a very young age, I felt responsible for providing access — trying to “fix” situations by interpreting, managing emotions, and bridging gaps that shouldn’t have been mine to carry. Seeing my family isolated again and again left me overwhelmed and, honestly, angry that hearing family members wouldn’t learn sign language for their own loved ones.

And for many people — Deaf and hearing — the holidays can be difficult for another reason too: family has a way of touching our deepest, most tender places. Old patterns, emotions we thought we had worked through, and unspoken expectations can surface out of nowhere.

That’s why this season is such a powerful time to tend to yourself and bring yourself back into balance for potential true healing.

Here are a few gentle ways to ground and care for yourself after triggering or overwhelming visits:

1. Support your body with nourishmentInstead of running to the alcohol when things get tough, reach for nourishing tea. Lemon Balm, Tulsi, or Passionflower to help you relax from the inside out.

2. Soothe your mindTake intentional pauses. A few slow breaths before entering or after a gathering, journaling to release emotions, or even one quiet minute alone can help reset your energy.

3. Honor your emotional needsYou are allowed to say no. Create small grounding rituals — a warm drink, a morning stretch, time outside — and reach out for support with a trusted friend or family member when things feel heavy. Connection is the key to healing. Connecting to something whether it is a pet, a person, your higher power, god, the universe and/or nature can bring you peace.

4. Lean into meaning and gratitudeReturn to rituals that bring comfort, reflect on what truly matters to you, and notice moments of joy — even the small ones. Meaning helps soften the hard edges of this season.

5. Give yourself permission to slow downRest is not indulgent — it’s essential. Slow down with some gentle stretching after the family gathering and a warm bath with some drops of lavender to soothe your nervous system.

This is exactly the kind of care we practice together in The Healthy Habits Course — learning how to support your body, regulate your nervous system, honor emotions, and build rhythms that actually sustain you through real life.

If the holidays have been stirring things up for you, you don’t have to do it alone. This is a beautiful time to begin tending to yourself with intention, support, and compassion.

You are so welcome to join us.

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With Love,

Catherine

Wellness Mentor | Massage Therapist

ASL & English Sessions Available

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